disgruntled human

ok so i honestly am not good at this and for some reason i dont know why but even though i like to blog and i actually find it very helpful i can never freaking remember to do it. urgh commitment what are you gonna do. life has been hard lately im noticing that more and more its becoming difficult. juggling and managing. organizing and stressing. loving and fighting. its so freaking much that sometimes you just wanna be able to take a day off of your life. how do we do that. they make it look so easy in other peoples lives or in the movies its so difficult. i didnt have anything handed to me ya i just lost my job ya i have a crap car no i dont have a degree what else do you want me to say. ive worked for what i have which isnt much but its mine. for how long i dont know not much longer if i dont find a job. things are always on the way up some say but i feel like im always been kicked down the stairs. its ridiculous. i worry all the time i feel like thats the only thing i am able to do and im good at it it is what it is its whats needed and im the one who can deliver. i know im not making sense to those people who read this and have a pretty easy going life style but to those who dont i would like to think you understand and please excuse all the writing errors man if my highschool english teachers could see me now they would freak out . i miss the days of simplicity and i knew what i was gonna do and what i wanted. it seemed possible and i hoped that i was further than i am now but apparently that wasnt in the cards im wondering what is in the cards because i'd like a new hand please maybe a redeal just for god sake no more hits i cant take it. im being rescued from my pitty party soon so hopefully like it did yesterday it will make me feel a little better but who knows maybe it will maybe it wont